Hopeful Groom Thinks Malia Obama Worth 150 Head Of Livestock


Coming from the publication The Nairobian, one would hope the bride price offered by a Kenyan lawyer for Malia Obama would be ignored.  No such luck.  Felix Kiprono has named his bid: 30 goats, 50 cows, and 70 sheep.  (No camels, and, of course, no pigs.) And much to the embarrassment of the 16-year old Malia, the entire world now knows this.

Speaking to The Nairobian, Kiprono, who hit the headlines when he moved to court seeking to have William Ruto sworn in as president when Uhuru travelled to The Hague for his ICC case, said he is ready to meet Obama to discuss the matter when the US president visits in July.

“I got interested in her in 2008. As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price,” he said.

So, this guy has been celibate for, what, 6-7 years waiting to get the chance to ask Barack Obama for Malia’s hand in exchange for livestock?  It’s either a different world over there or this has to be a joke.

The young lawyer claims his love for Malia is real and not infatuation.  He claims Malia has Kenyan blood since his father Obama has Kenyan roots.

“People might say I am after the family’s money, which is not the case. My love is real,” he said, adding that, “I am currently drafting a letter to Obama asking him to please have Malia accompany him for this trip. I hope the embassy will pass the letter to him. I will hand it over to the US Ambassador with whom we have interacted several times.”

Well, so much for taking her dad out to lunch or a ballgame or the golf course to ask permission to ask the young lady for her hand as is the American custom.  No, this guy goes straight for the Kenyan blood, never mind that it’s still not proven who Obama is let alone his daughters.

There is no comment from the White House about this, but being a famous young lady Malia is going to have to expect men from all over the world will be interested.  In the meantime, many outlets are encouraging the president not to let this one get away, and the Twitterverse is abuzz with possibilities.

Stay tuned.  At 16, Malia on the verge of spinsterhood if Obama doesn’t jump on some sort of offer like this.  (Yes, that is sarcasm.)

About the Author

Cultural Limits
A resident of Flyover Country, Cultural Limits is a rare creature in American Conservatism - committed to not just small government, Christianity and traditional social roles, but non-profits and high arts and culture. Watching politics, observing human behavior and writing are all long-time interests. In her other life, CL writes romance novels under her nom de plume, Patricia Holden (@PatriciaHoldenAuthor on Facebook), and crochets like a mad woman (designs can be found on Facebook @BohemianFlairCrochet and on Pinterest on the Bohemian Flair Crochet board). In religion, CL is Catholic; in work, the jill of all trades when it comes to fundraising software manipulation and event planning; in play, a classically trained soprano and proud citizen of Cardinal Nation, although, during hockey season, Bleeds Blue. She lives in the Mid-Mississippi River Valley with family and two cute and charming tyrants...make that toy dogs.